Last December a video made rounds in the kizomba community. It showcased a dancer trying a stunt during a demo that resulted in him and his partner falling.

After watching the video, I hesitated a long time before making this post because a fall is not a big deal. Everybody has fallen once. And even the best can fail at something they do everyday. (I have to admit there are easier ways to get someone to sit on your face. 🤣)

But, as time went by, I kept thinking of it and I realized there are good lessons we can learn from it. The fall sheds light on underlying issues in the dance community.

Show vs. Social dancing

Dancing socially and dancing on a stage are two very different things. They require we pay attention to and use different skillsets.

Obvioiusly, a “show” dance is more impressive and more attractive than a regular social dance. So over the years, many show elements have crossed over to social dancing in the kizomba community (especially in urbankiz). Many people add lifts, tricks, and other acrobatics to make their dance more appealing.

As an artist, I understand that people may want to push the boundaries of their style and their art. However, all these additions are not made for social dancing. And unfortunately, many people don’t know when they should social dance and when they should show dance.

Now, I don’t know what the workshop he was teaching was, but from the little context I got, this was a time for social dancing.

Let me explain why: acrobatics and other stunts take time and practice to learn WITH a partner prior to doing them in public. The lady he was dancing with, wasn’t his regular partner. And she probably wasn’t even expecting that move. (See how she is looking away when he is preparing to do his move). Since they do not know each other well, he should have avoided doing this in the demo.

I am willing to bet that some attendees that have seen it done successfully will try to do this on the dance floor.

Lesson: Learn how to dance socially in a way that is respectful to everyone. If you aren’t on stage, do not pull this kind of stunt. It will put you, your partner, and the people around you in danger.

Dance roles and underlying misogyny

There is so much focus on leading and male teachers in the kizomba world. Most of the classes are focusing on teaching leading skills while we ask the others to “just follow”. Organizer are willing to pay thousands for a workshop by a great lead and then ask a regular attendee to help in the demo (not what happened in this video). This attitude towards women and follows makes it seems like following is not a valuable and essential skill in the dance world. When in reality, it represents at least 50% of the dance.

Following is hard. It takes time, active efforts, and a lot of self awareness to improve as a follow. So, as a community, we should value follows and what they bring into the dance much more than we are now.

The follow, in this video has a different skillset than his regular partner. I am willing to bet that if his partner had been there, she probably wouldn’t have fallen. Because they know each other and dance together frequently, she would probably have felt that something wasn’t right from the beginning. She may even have been able to help him balance.

Watch the following video of a similar situation with Jojo and Jenny. We can definitely tell that something was going on, but both partners were able to course correct before anything more serious happened.

Lesson: Following is a difficult skill to master. If you haven’t danced with someone before don’t assume they can follow everything you do easily. And show some love to the follows in the community.

Partner connection and awareness

What also strikes me in this video is the disconnect between both dancers (which can be explained by the fact that they may not dance together regularly).

It feels to me that they are trying to connect more with the public than each other. Granted, it is a demo, but showcasing your skills shouldn’t come at the expense of your dance connection.

Lesson: Whenever you dance with someone for the first time, get to know them. Understand how they move and how they respond to you, as a dancer. It’s no use throwing all your best moves right away. The goal is for both dancers to feel great when dancing.

Humility

Mistakes happen. What really matter is how you handle the aftermath of your mistake. Are you taking responsibility or blaming others? Are you learning from it or brushing it off?

Luckily both dancers were ok, but they could have hurt themselves badly. So it is important to stay humble and to keep learning and improving your skills every day.

I have to say that this man handled the aftermath perfectly.

Lesson: Be humble or, one day, the floor will humble you.